Manja

I faced a lot of challenging situations this past week. I had to shed my safety layers of clothing and shed some skin in a bathing suit. I had to expose my skin and all that it bears, there were pleanty of looks and comments yet I continued not to fold under the scruintny of others. My feeling towards my body are all quite negative, botttom line, I have overwhelming shame associated with my body. Just wearing that bathing suit is a huge challenge for me, and I did it day after day. But when I’m around other people the guilt swarms inside me, I feel so ashamed. Each day there were more triggers and even more urges I continued not to engage. I did not even go to the resort gym once! I made sure to eat and supplement as needed, even deserts to make up for excerize. Not one day did I fast! The island…. so  peaceful and beautiful.  I had fought myself all the trip and in recovery’s eyes came out victorious from that one!

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