Thursday.

During my lunch block Thursday it was a Day 5, meaning I remain in the class room for the duration of lunch. Now the other kids in the class usually just think I am the last one out and first one in. On this Thursday as the last few students hustled out I told my teacher that yes I would be staying and two other girls asked  if they could stay in her room as well, seeing as she keeps it toasty with a heater and all. One of the girls went out to fetch her lunch as the other went  back to her seat mumbling under her breathe that she doesn’t even eat. Hearing this I actually started out mad, but realized it was more anger towards myself. I immediately open up conversation with her and she comes to the resolution that she has began engaging in an eating disorder for about month. Naturally I am consider, especially considering the fact that she works with the guidance consoler, uh. Immediately after that class had ended I went straight into the walk-in center. (I gave her a heads up)  I spoke to the Dean of Students who I absolutely adore, and she spoke with girl. I can only now pray for her and send her good vibes… but I have to try and not take ownership. Seeing girls who get sick at this age for some reason makes me feel upset, I hate it but I cannot explain it. Maybe it is because I’ve had to deal with this for years before even high school or maybe it’s just because I stink. We do not know the whys in life and learning to balance the acceptance and crave for solution of this is something we have to fight to learn throughout life. How come I became sick so young? How become I became sick at all? See it will drive you mad.. There is an important balance between a thirst for knowledge and just letting it go.

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